Password and Captcha Hell! Please Scan My Eyeball!

Firstly I have to say I HATE PASSWORDS!!! There are passwords for every damn thing these days, they ALL have to be different, and all need 8 digits, one capital one lower case letter, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I like many of us, can’t remember my passwords. I’m constantly forgetting which password is for what account, it’s become a damn nightmare. Every single website, platform and software app requires a password, how are we supposed to remember THEM ALL. And ….and… and!!! The worst thing of all! The very worst thing! Those idiotic Captcha hieroglyphics we need to decipher that are there supposedly to try to determine if we are robots or human, all they prove are that we are all idiots to go through this stupid password Captcha hell so we can leave a damn comment on your password protected blog…sigh…

Last week I had 3 clients, 3 lovely sweet, intelligent clients, who all got caught up in password hell…Lets face it our passwords make us all look like morons. It’s bad enough that we can’t remember which is which (most of us have about 50 we have to remember..including PINS) but when we try to put our retrieved password from the back our our brain into our phones or our keyboard the immense pressure to get it right means that we are inevitably going to get it… wrong…not once, but 5 times! And then after the inevitable 3 fails, we have to decipher a captcha security word or words.

Last week my poor client and myself..could NOT even read the capture security codes, and one was written in Russian with Umlauts for goodness sake they aren’t even on our keyboard!!! We tried 4 times before we got one captcha that was legible, and yes we did try the handicapped audio read out…ummmm have you ever tried that thing! It sounds like a Dalek speaking in an underwater Mall during a boxing day sale! This was such a humiliating experience for both of us, that after about 5 goes at trying to put in the password, I just collapsed on the desk in hysterics. I have to commend my stoic client for NOT throwing his lovely Mac Book Air against the office wall.

Don’t ever…ever…think, under any circumstance that once you set a password for some random device or software that you will never use it again so its ok for you to just toss the scrap of paper in a drawer! This is wrong, VERY wrong….one day when you least expect it, you will need that password and nothing …..absolutely nothing nothing! Will work until you find it!

Which is why we all need a system. Now… you can get all modern and use some fancy online software to store your passwords…but don’t forget…you need a password to get into that software, so its not without its problems, and for many of us that will only work if your computer isn’t stolen or damaged…I have it on very good authority that the secret weapon of choice for some very, very, highly paid internet security personal is…..a little black book. Yup, most I.T people just have a card or a notebook where all their passwords are stored. Sounds a bit dodgy doesn’t it? But unless you work for ASIO and get kidnapped get your wallet stolen or your pocket picked, and then someone breaks into your house…its probably the best solution. I write mine in code, (don’t get all impressed its just my dumb made up code, nothing clever) so I don’t actually say what each password for. And I do use 1Password.app to store all my passwords.

The main thing is to save every single password you set, and keep it somewhere safe away from your computer. Have easy access to your passwords and make them understandable and logical. Choose passwords that are random words, that after a while you will remember. Don’t use the same one for everything unless it totally doesn’t matter…and how do you judge that? Don’t use your kids names, don’t use pet names, actually don’t make them relevant AT ALL! Make them silly Monty Python type names like “Hedgehogarmyboots49″ you WILL eventually remember silly names. And change them occasionally sigh…And…make a copy and give it to a family member in case of death. Seriously….

This might sound a bit weird but I’m actually looking forward to the day retina scans are everywhere, “Minority Report” style. Passwords are hell for I.T professionals and they are Hell for users, I’m afraid its only going to get worse…

What do you use?
 

Follow Me on Twitter! Click here → @_LeonieGSmith